


loosing the chimera: the man behind the curtain remix

by green_grrl



Series: loosing the chimera [2]
Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-10-12
Updated: 2009-10-12
Packaged: 2017-12-10 13:08:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/786373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_grrl/pseuds/green_grrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The second time around, you keep your eyes wide open.</p><p>AKA Jack's reality.</p>
            </blockquote>





	loosing the chimera: the man behind the curtain remix

**Author's Note:**

> References events from Children of the Gods through The Shroud, and SGA start of season 5. [](http://muck-a-luck.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**muck_a_luck**](http://muck-a-luck.dreamwidth.org/) and [](http://theemdash.livejournal.com/profile)[**theemdash**](http://theemdash.livejournal.com/) made it happen, and [](http://princessofgeeks.dreamwidth.org/profile)[](http://princessofgeeks.dreamwidth.org/)**princessofgeeks** made it better. Thank you!

It's not that he hadn't taken notice of Daniel on Abydos. Jack had, but he hadn't been in the right head space. And it's not that he thinks Daniel's in the right head space now, standing a little bewildered and a lot bereaved in Jack's living room.

Still, Jack's willing to offer, if it'll help. He lets it show on his face.

Daniel blinks—realization, with a dash of surprise. His tone is wry. "Huh. If only I'd known before I got myself married off on an alien planet."

Jack blinks back, then jokes with a shrug, "If only I'd known at the time it didn't take long curly hair and a D cup to get your attention."

Daniel shakes his head. "My _type_ "—the finger quotes are audible—"is smart, strong, competent, brave ... The package doesn't really matter."

Before Jack can even finish the smirk, Daniel cuts him off with a laugh. "Don't even go there!"

It's probably more the beer, or maybe a defense against breakdown, than the twelve-year-old humor, but Jack counts the smile as a momentary win.

He sends Daniel off to the guest bedroom later that night with aspirin and water, and feels ever so slightly less lonely in his post-divorce house. It's good to know that, if nothing else, the improbable friendship that broke through his defenses a year ago is still there.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jack's having a particularly good dream, but as he wakes up, it's still dark and the dream's not ending. There's a wet warmth surrounding his cock, sucking, and he's coming even before he's fully conscious.

It's Daniel, Daniel sliding up his body, begging him, "Please, Jack. I'm sorry. Please ..."

He slams awake in a flash: Daniel, on the floor of the storeroom, breaking into pieces. The Doc keeping Daniel tied down another three days. Daniel, released to Jack's care, Jack's guest room.

Daniel, obviously not as over the addiction as they thought.

Jack immediately rolls them over, tightly holding on to the shivering body spooned in front of him. "I've got you, Daniel. It's okay. I've got you."

"No, Jack ... need ..."

"It's all right, Daniel. You do whatever you have to. I'm right here."

Daniel's just frozen, shaking, so Jack takes his hand for him and guides it between his legs. Once he feels the tell-tale movement, he lets go and wraps his arms around Daniel again as he masturbates.

"Go on, I've got you. I've got you. You do what you have to, baby. I'm here." He keeps talking to Daniel through the whimpers and the cries, and the final tensing and release.

As Daniel falls into soft snores in his arms, Jack thinks this is almost worse than the mines. He'd have welcomed Daniel in his bed for a long time, but never wanted it like this.

 

 

The next time Jack wakes, it's because Daniel has jerked awake and tried to to pull away from him in a panic.

"Hey, hey. It's okay. I've got you. Calm down. It's okay."

Daniel slumps in his hold, and buries his face into the mattress. His voice is muffled but lucid when he says, " _Please_ tell me I didn't really ..."

Jack gets as far as "Um ..." before Daniel groans.

"I'm sorry. I'm _so_ , so sorry ..."

"Aht!" Jack cuts him off. He sits up in the bed, and tugs Daniel up and around. Fortunately the sheet and blanket are preserving a little bit of morning-after modesty.

"It's _okay_ , Daniel. It's not that I ... like _this_ , but it's not that I don't ..."

"No, no, I know," Daniel butts in. "It's just ..." He huffs, frustrated, then speed talks. "I've never exactly bought into the Western romantic ideal of monogamy, but then I never expected to be in love with two people at the same time"—and Jack feels a _thrill_ run down his spine at the confession—"but with ..." A hand flits up to wave towards _out there_ where Sha're needs finding, "and you're ..." the hand changes direction to wave at Jack's dog tags on the nightstand. "Anyway, I never intended ... I _never_ meant to use you as a palliative during an addiction relapse."

"Hey." Jack brings Daniel's chin up and reads the guilt in his eyes. He lays a hand on Daniel's cheek. "It's _okay_. I'd give you _anything_ you need, and last night, that's what you needed. It wasn't ideal, but—" He cuts himself off before he says _in sickness and in health_ , though he realizes in that moment that he means it. "Anyway, neither one of us is in any position to make promises. Just know that ..."

"Yeah. I know." Daniel mirrors him with a hand on Jack's face, and pulls their foreheads together for a moment of intimacy that stretches.

Finally he lets go and rolls off the bed, away from Jack, embarrassed again. "I think what the patient needs this morning is coffee."

 

 

* * *

 

 

Daniel's been taking the infirmary watch. Carter's off with her dad, and Teal'c's seen Daniel's insistence and left him to it.

So when Jack goes limping out the door on crutches with a joke to the Doc about how getting sprung from the infirmary is almost as good as getting out of Hell, it's Daniel who's driving him home.

And it's Daniel who carefully props him against the wall and kisses him, gently opening him up and breaking him apart with his tongue. If Jack clings, it's not entirely due to having a bum leg. God, _finally_.

Eventually they pull apart and he risks asking, "Daniel?"

"The Blood of Sokar was a wake-up call." He looks searchingly at Jack. "I'm sorry you had to watch me go through that with Ke'ra. I don't know what I was thinking."

That bitch drove Jack _crazy_ , but he can be generous in victory. "Rebound thing."

Daniel snorts. "I guess. It wasn't real, though."

Jack steps carefully. "Hallucinations aren't real, either."

Daniel shakes his head. "It wasn't that kind of vision. It just ... it reminded me of who the most important person in my life is. Who's ..." He bunches his fingers in a point to tap at his chest. _Inside? In his heart?_

It's relief and euphoria at the same time. _Yes._ He's been waiting since Sha're's death, letting Daniel decide when, or even if. Of course "when" turns out to be ...

"You do realize I'm on so many painkillers I couldn't get it up with a crane?"

"I know." Daniel strokes his arm gently. "I just ... we're still not going to be able to get together more than occasionally. At least right now I can help you out _and_ have a good excuse to spend a few days here. Doesn't matter if all I can do is hold you. Um, carefully. On your good side."

The hell with that. Jack's perfectly able to at least give him a hand job, and he's ecstatic inside at the thought.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Okay, it's embarrassing. It's _mortifying_. He's a forty-eight year old senior officer, and he's acting like a teenager.

He's too close to his team—they're all too close. The entire team nearly got killed on the damned Tok'ra armband mission because they couldn't leave each other behind, and then he and Carter had to admit it out loud because of that zatarc detector. (The Tok'ra are _nothing_ but trouble.)

The problem is, he'd been noticing Carter going through a little crush on him. And instead of doing the smart, forty-eight year old senior officer thing and nipping it in the bud, some ridiculous part of him is crushing back.

It's stupid. It's _crazy_. Even if acting on it wouldn't destroy her career (which it would), or cause both Hammond and Jacob to come after his nuts with a rusty spoon (which it _definitely_ would), they'd last all of a week together.

Is it some kind of mid-life crisis that demands a sports car and a young blonde he can show off? Because it's not like he doesn't have all the intimacy and passion and connection he could ever want. Well, maybe once a month, if he and Daniel are lucky and can sneak away for some complete privacy.

Right. So he's suddenly obsessed with Carter.

And then Daniel had to mention the time loop means no consequences.

Unfortunately, the time loop also means that he's losing his damn mind.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jonah relaxes against the wall—it's been a long day. Thera's off designing more improvements to the machinery, as usual. It's like her brain never stops. Jonah's brain, well, it runs along different lines. Like, if you really want improvements, there are ways of approaching a bureaucracy; sheer brilliance isn't enough.

Not that he remembers dealing with a bureaucracy before. Or much of anything.

He doesn't even remember how he met Thera, even though they both worked in the mines.

He's not quite sure what they are to each other. He'd swear he's some sort of mentor, like an uncle—he feels a generation older than her, anyway. Except he thinks there was a kiss, but he doesn't quite remember it.

The only thing he knows for sure is that he trusts her, and after an exhausting day that's enough of a comfort.

 

 

 _Stargate Command. Colorado. Abydos. The Air Force. General Hammond._ It's all coming back.

It's coming back for Thera—Carter—too. The way she lights up when she calls him "Sir" brings back a cascade of memories. He'd seen that radiant _rightness_ shining from her when Doctor Carter questioned her career, when she was promoted to major, hell, every time she's in her element as an officer in the US military—which is pretty much all the time.

"Sir." The last vestiges of his crush crumble away like the illusion it was. Who she is and who he is, they aren't anything other than close colleagues. They hadn't been even with their memories stripped away.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jack knows Daniel's been stewing for hours. Unfortunately he finally boils over in the middle of the grocery store. Which makes for an argument quietly gritted out between clenched teeth, with careful avoidance of any mention of offworld travel.

"I know I could get him back if I could just talk to the—"

"It's not my call, Daniel. All marines, quick extraction."

"Which means it's going to be a," his voice drops even lower, "bloodbath."

"Not necessarily." Yeah, right. If the rebels decide to just let their hostage go. Not likely, and they both know it.

" _Jack_ ...," he warns.

Jack wouldn't be inclined to let Daniel go into that situation anyway, but it's not his call this time. "It's up to the General. And he has Washington watching over his shoulder on this one. Decision's made, Daniel."

A new voice interrupts. "Wow. Jack must really like you or really hate you." And of all the people in Colorado Springs, it's Sara coming up the aisle, smiling at Daniel. "I'm going to go with 'like.'"

Utterly derailed, Daniel asks, "How do you figure that?"

She smirks. "Jack only fights with people he hates or loves." She nods at the basket. "Considering I watched you pull his favorite cereal from the shelf as well as yours, and him pick up coffee that costs three times as much as his usual generic brew, I'm guessing the latter."

Damn, still beautiful _and_ sharp as a tack. "Daniel, Sara Engels. Sara, Doctor Daniel Jackson. You ... met briefly about four years ago."

The memory of the circumstances the last time hits Daniel and Sara both, and there's a moment of silence before Sara gives Jack and Daniel each a considering look. "It's good to see you ... fighting with someone again, Jack." She smiles. "Bring Doctor Jackson to the next poker night."

Daniel responds on autopilot even as he's processing all the layers. "Please, Daniel." At least he's rolling with being outed by Jack's ex.

"All right, Daniel. I look forward to seeing you again." And she genuinely is; Jack can tell that much. "Nice running into you, Jack." She shakes Daniel's hand and pats Jack's arm, and leaves them both staring after her, bemused. She can have that effect.

Rebuilding a friendly relationship with her has helped both Jack and Sara heal the past. And this whatever-it-is with Daniel, that's Jack's present and his future—Daniel's it for him. So he likes the idea of Daniel and Sara becoming friends.

He just can't help but suspect it won't take them long to gang up on him.

 

 

* * *

 

 

"Major Cameron Mitchell," Jack reads off the folder tab, and Carter's head jerks up. Out of the corner of his eye he sees Teal'c and Jonas noticing Carter's reaction, too.

"What do you think, sir?" Carter asks, so Jack flips through the file. It's impressive, the kind of pilot he's looking for.

"Looks like he has the chops. You put his name on the list?"

Carter nods. "We went to the Academy together, and ... ran into each other in the Gulf. Honestly I'd recommend him for the SGC, but I know we need the pilots for the X-302s. He's who I'd want flying them."

Considering how invested she is in the 302s, that's a hell of a recommendation.

There's something more about Carter and this Mitchell guy; she seems a little ... sparkly. A quick glance at Teal'c and Jonas shows them curious, too, but Jack's just fine with adding another good name to the list and reaching for the next folder.

Hey, at least Carter can feel alive during Daniel's un-death. It's only knowing Daniel's still around, even as a light bulb, that allows Jack to function at all.

 

 

* * *

 

 

When they all get out of the mountain after the Trust debacle, Daniel shows up at Jack's without needing to be asked.

"I can't do this anymore, Daniel. I _can't_. I'd rather let planets full of Jaffa die than order Pendergast to fire on you."

"And I'd rather you fire than risk their deaths."

Jack pulls up one side of his mouth in a parody of a smile. "Since when do I do what you want?"

Daniel knows better than to speak, so they sit in companionable silence until Jack can bring himself to say, "George has been making noises about bringing me to Washington. He wants time with the kids before they leave the nest."

"The other side of the country." Daniel doesn't sound any happier about it than Jack feels, even if the little shit's been trying to run off to Atlantis. Sauce for the goose.

"I know. But my command is compromised."

They sit in silence a while longer.

"Well," Jack goes on. "It won't happen overnight."

"This being the military, and all," Daniel agrees.

Jack can't make himself move, so it's eventually Daniel who pulls him up, leads him to bed, and fucks him until he comes apart.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Jack heads straight for Daniel's refrigerator and helps himself to a beer.

It's not until he's drained it that he can turn around to Daniel and say, "Kerry Johnson climbed on my lap in the third period and stuck her tongue down my throat."

Daniel's eyebrows climb up his forehead. "Wow. You sound like a nine year old who hasn't gotten his cooties inoculation."

Goddammit. "I'm serious!"

"Third period, huh? You didn't get to watch the end of the game? It's like she doesn't even know you."

"She doesn't!" Jack's afraid his voice is perilously close to hysterical.

Daniel ducks his head as he tries to hide his smile. "Sorry. Still, it's not an entirely bad thing. You like her."

That makes Jack shrug uncomfortably. "She's all right, for a Washington type."

Daniel nudges him with an elbow. "It's not a bad thing for the brass to see you dating a woman. Besides, give her a chance. You never know."

Jack snorts. They've been around and around on this one. Jack is entirely uninterested in letting some stranger _in_. Hell, he's never let _anyone_ in as far as Daniel. But Daniel insists on leaving Jack the opportunity to play happy families in public someday. As far as Jack's concerned, that'll be the day DADT gets repealed.

Meanwhile, Daniel's not wrong that dating Kerry for a while would be a smart move. And he _does_ like her.

 

 

* * *

 

 

Grumpy, bitchy, cranky, five flavors of pissed off—Jack knows he was unbearable when Daniel got kidnapped by Adria, and even worse when he showed up Prior-itized.

But finally, thank every true god, Daniel's back and has fucked the anger, and the hollow pit of fear underneath, right out of him. Jack rolls them onto their sides and pulls tight, pillowing his head on Daniel's shoulder. He thinks he might be forgiven a little ... clinginess, under the circumstances.

"Huh. It's like you missed me or something." Daniel's teasing is gentle. He's playing with Jack's hair.

Fuck Daniel's "everyone who loves me leaves me" neurosis, anyway.

Jack hates that he's _still_ in no position to make promises, and that they talk about Jack going with the flow when someone throws herself at him in Washington, or Daniel moving on if he finds himself in an Edora situation.

He's pragmatic about it, for now. But the day SG-1 defeats the Ori—it's only a matter of time—Jack's making damn sure SG-1 is off the regular roster, and Daniel knows Jack's in it for life.

In the meantime, Jack has four and a half hours until he has to stand at the beam-out coordinates in Daniel's living room to get back to Washington, and he's going to use every minute to remind Daniel that being a human loved by Jack O'Neill is a good thing.

 

 

* * *

 

 

As Jack's letting himself into the townhouse, Daniel's hanging up his cell phone. "Sam's coming home from Atlantis."

"Hello. How was your day at work, dear? And by the way, who spilled the beans? That was going to be my surprise."

"Oops. That would be my, ah, secret informant, then."

Jack sighs. For a classified department, Homeworld's security is like a sieve sometimes. "She doesn't know yet," he warns.

"Oh, darn. And I had Atlantis on my speed-dial." Daniel waggles his cell phone. "So the reassignment was your doing?"

"Not ... technically." Jack plays modest. "Mitchell was looking mopey, so I decided to let slip in front of LaPierre how glad the Pentagon was that a US Air Force officer was in charge of Atlantis. Presto, change-o, civilian leadership on the way."

"Hmm. Good thing you don't use your powers for evil." Daniel kisses him like maybe a little evil isn't a bad thing.

"Great responsibility. Yadda." Jack kisses him back. He _loves_ that Daniel is in Washington more often than not, these days.

Daniel reluctantly pulls away. "We should get Sam out to DC, have dinner, the four of us."

Jack feels a bit of hesitation. He and Daniel are sort of an open secret these days among friends, and he knows Carter knows. But he's never, well, pushed it in her face. "You sure it'd be okay?"

Daniel snorts. "Mitchell's already booking flights to Kansas for two." Ah, that would be Daniel's secret informant, then. "My guess is by the time they get to DC, they'll be using dinner with us to ask me to stand up for Sam at the wedding."

"Hey! Why wouldn't she ask me to?" Jack heads to the bedroom to pull off his jacket and tie, and Daniel trails behind. "You can be Mitchell's best man."

" _Teal'c_ will be Mitchell's best man. You'll ... walk Sam down the aisle."

"No, Carter's brother will walk her down the aisle. So what do I get to do?"

The innocent face gives it away a beat too soon. "Flower girl?"

Jack manages to tackle Daniel to the bed without throwing his back out—always a win—and attacks the ticklish part of his neck with the snuffling kisses that never fail to make Daniel squeal like a little kid. Daniel's so self-possessed these days, Jack can't resist every once in a while.

"Stop! Enough!"

Jack lifts his head.

"We're horizontal. Don't you want to put it to good use?" Daniel bucks his hips into Jack's.

"What, tickling you isn't good use?" But Jack lies propped up on his elbows, letting the feel of Daniel under him encourage the blood to flow to his groin. He looks down at Daniel, who's still slightly red-faced. His eyes are shining, happy.

Fuck it. Jack would wear a pink organza skirt and throw _buckets_ of hypo-allergenic flower petals if Daniel wanted him to. Though Jack's thinking more along the lines of catching the garter at Carter's wedding and a trip to Massachusetts.

Jack dips his head for a kiss. He's been working towards this reality for over ten years, and he's enjoying every damn moment of it.

 


End file.
